Sunday, July 20, 2008

Drink Me

Understand that I don’t drink to prove how tough I am. Understand that I don’t drink to count with my bottles the number of girls I currently date. Understand that I don’t drink to prove I can topple everyone and sweep them under the table like some broken glass. I drink because I want to and I’m not out to prove anything. You wanna prove something. That’s you. That’s bullsh!t.

Who says drinking is a "guy thing?" I have a girl friend who can guzzle up three bottles of tequila and still pronounce the longest word in the dictionary without faltering. I bet you don’t even know what that is. She isn’t masculine. Take the number of girls charmed by your conscious effort at whatever a "guy thing" is, and the number of guys drawn to her charm. You lose. You try to compensate with alcohol. Wake up: it doesn't work that way.

Mine is bigger than your average dick and I can finish three six-packs while you eat supper and still be able to walk two miles for another round from 7-Eleven. By the time I’m having that next round, I’ll sing you an R&B hitting the right notes all the time. I don’t intend to prove anything but you must be told: if you measure yourself by the number of bottles you can empty, you’re nothing but bottle. You’re on the edge alright. When given a bit of a push, you crash down to smithereens. Pull yourself together, assh0le. Tell me you can finish 10 mucho mugs but frankly my dear, you aren’t quite the macho you fantasize to be.


Anonymous said...
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xxxborgexxx said...

It's under my nose. Haha.