No Excuses, but with a Disclaimer. Get that.

This does not refer to anyone I or you might know. It's just mental overflow, which you can assume as the product of exorcising my mind. You don't have to relate to the demons.
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There’s no excuse for being an idiot. It isn’t in the kind of milk you had as a baby. I stopped drinking milk even before I realized that I did. It isn’t because of your parents, your teachers, or the schools you went to. It isn’t because of the bad friends you had. It isn’t because you grew up in some remote province where the only TV channels were RPN9 and PTV4. It’s always been your brain. Only you had anything to do with it; unless you’re really sick in the head, in which case I’m not talking to you. Being an idiot is a choice. Being smart is a quest – if you don’t dig it, you’ll always be stuck in the shallows.

There’s no excuse for not eating veggies. These call center ants and the recently promoted yuppies who earn more money than any of their parents saw in their combined lifetimes are too proud of not knowing what saluyot is. I’ll buy the clothes off of you and expose the smut that you are. I am sustained by fast food chains twice daily unless I feel like having breakfast which would make it thrice, but I’ll gladly trade my big burger plus large coke and fries for your mom’s malungay soup. Feed me with talbos ng kamote for a year. You won’t hear me complain. What you have on the table does not speak of how high you are on the professional ladder. I’ll ardently trade fake adobo for ampalaya and know that it isn’t because I take forever in front of an ATM wishing I can withdraw close to what I actually need in the next 15 days. Go on and check your balance both before and after you take money hoping that 5,000 minus 500 is still 5,000.

There’s no excuse for getting someone pregnant, not wanting the baby, but still having it. You have no fcuking right to seriously complain about raising a kid. If you knocked someone up, or if you got knocked up, know that that organism didn’t beg to be conceived. You have to change diapers, stay up at night when he cries, look for someone to watch over him if you can’t and if you don’t find anyone, you better goddamn do it. You could’ve flushed it but chose not to. And when he grows up, know that he doesn’t owe you anything. He survived because it was your responsibility to see him live. If you bring a living creature into the world, he is your responsibility. Not the other way around. If he lives even after you stop seeing to him, he’s done it. You have no right to get paid for it.

There’s no excuse for using your emotions more than your head. Emotions are everything to some people. When they whine and ask for better treatment, they are sh!t. If investing your feelings turns up okay, that’s unjustified luck. If it doesn’t, call it Normal. Expected. Reality. Do not ever pull others around your emotional outbursts. Be aware that they don’t deserve it. It was you who made the move. Have the decency to suffer the consequences of your own sacrifices. No one asked you to make them. No one makes those decisions but ourselves. You chose to jump, don’t talk back even if only to say Sorry – and even more so if by saying it you hope for understanding. There's freakin' no absolution. It’s the pig’s way of imposing on someone. Breathe your stink and shut up.

There’s no excuse for being alive when you ought to be dead. The doctor said my heart might give up if I didn’t change my lifestyle. My organs will fail. I smoke, I drink, I go to fast food chains like I breathe air. And I go to work which has become too unhealthy lately. This job kills me but I make sure that I’m able enough to trudge my way to the office daily not because I like it, but because I can’t find a better one. The hungry bears will take my post and scream in joy about it. I want a better one. I'll become even bigger than what I am. Or die first. If I die tomorrow I will die having done what I promised my innocent self not to do 11 years ago. If I die tomorrow I will die not having done what my mature alter ego wanted me to do. If I die tomorrow I might as well die tonight with my vodka and Cheese Ring. It might very well be just luck that brought me to where I am now despite of my messed up credentials and fierce recklessness but with all boldness I say I serve more purpose than that idiot, uneducated pretender all of us know. No one can assume the privilege to think that I will die. I may be unhealthy and heading towards no particular direction but make way. I’ve got every right in heaven or hell to be here.

I didn't make excuses.
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Originally written on 07oct08, 0257hrs | drunken sentiments